don’t worry (?)
let’s imagine an interchange between a couple of humans
You: sharing something really difficult that is causing you anxiety, worry, stress, and deep sorrow.
Another human: "Don't worry."
You: *@#%!
I've been studying the book of Philippians over the last couple of weeks when I awake each morning. The most important part of such study is just simply reading the whole letter in one sitting (it's short, don't be impressed).
Hmmm...let me be a bit more clear. By reading I mean that I have a Blackwing Pearl pencil in my hand, and, as I read, I underline, make little notations, create arrows between thoughts that are explaining each other, write comments in the margin, circle, star, draw little pictures. In this way, I am actively reading. I'm searching out connections and understanding. I'm trying to get to Philippi, a couple thousand years ago, as the first recipients were receiving greetings from a dear friend and pastor.
(It's remarkable how marked up a few pages can get after just a few days.)
And I never cease to be amazed at how much you can see in the same text when you simply read it over, and over, and over again. I'm 52. I've been reading the Scriptures pretty consistently for almost three decades now. And yet, each morning over the past couple of weeks there have been new discoveries in the pages of Paul's letter to his friends in Philippi.
Like the one I’m about to share.
It’s something I don't think I've seen before.
Well, I’ve seen it, because I’d read it, but it just hadn’t arrested my attention. But it did this morning.
There it was, nestled in a little section where Paul is talking about how he wants to send a couple of his friends, Timothy and Epaphroditus, to the church at Philippi. And when talking about the latter, he says this:
Indeed he was ill, near to death. But God had mercy on him, and not only on him but on me also, lest I should have sorrow upon sorrow. I am the more eager to send him, therefore, that you may rejoice at seeing him again, and that I may be less anxious. (Philippians 2:27-28)
Huh.
Mark that. "...that I may be less anxious."
In other words, Paul was anxious over the fact that this dear brother, a fellow worker and fellow soldier, a minister to Paul's needs, was ill (Phil2:25-26). In fact, he was so ill, he almost died (Phil2:27). And it appears that not only was Paul anxious about all that, but he and Epaphroditus had also discovered that the Philippians had heard that Epaphroditus was sick, and they became further distressed (Phil2:26; a Greek word that means 'to be in anxiety') over the anxiety that the news of his illness might be causing the Philippians!
Did you follow all that?
Anxiety, upon anxiety, upon anxiety.
Which is why Paul is so grateful that Epaphroditus is finally better, so he can travel back to Philippi, so that Paul can be less anxious.
Ok, so, why am I telling you all of this?
Because Paul is the same dude who writes, just one page over in the story, "...do not be anxious about anything."
Let's pause here for a moment to let that sink in..…………………………………………………………………………………….ok, let’s continue….
I don't know what your study of the Bible looks like, but when I read the story about Epaphroditus, and a line from Paul like "that I may be less anxious," and then I read him closing out the letter and he says, "do not be anxious about anything," well, that's the kind of combo that stops me and really gets me thinking and asking questions, chief among them, "Ok Paul, how can you say both of those things? How can you talk about being less anxious--which means there's still some anxious left over, because you're less anxious, and not zero anxious--how can you also say do not be anxious about anything, because that sounds like zero anxious to me."
This isn’t the place to write an article long enough to relay all the wrestling I've done with such questions the last couple of mornings, and you probably wouldn't want to read it anyway (maybe your already about to tap out right about here). So let me jump ahead to a working conclusion.
I think there are different anxieties at play in what Paul is trying to teach us, and I think it is massively important to our living as humans to understand what he is on about.
You see, when Paul says, in the story about Epaphroditus, that he is eager to be "less anxious," (Phil2:28) I don't think it's a sinful kind of anxiety, worry, or sorrow that he’s experiencing. Rather, the word there for anxiety seems to have bound up in it the kind of weight and worry that comes from life circumstances that bring sorrow and distress. Situations we grieve over, and wish were not so. In other words, life in a fallen world.
We all carry burdens.
Our own.
And those that come from being connected to others we deeply love.
And so we grieve.
And we feel the stress of it on our shoulders, our hearts, our gut.
Because we're human.
And it's not sinful, it's normal.
It was for Paul, and it is for you and I.
Sometimes it's OK to say, "I'm anxious, and I'm hoping to be less anxious, if these circumstances could just change."
Which brings us to what Paul said later, in Philippians 4:6, a statement that really had me scratching my head in light of what he said in regards to Epaphroditus. Here it is:
"...do not be anxious about anything."
And it immediately struck me that the kind of anxiety Paul is talking about here is not the kind expected of a human merely being human (like we saw above), but a sinful kind. I think that because he’s ordering us not to feel this kind of anxiety.
In order to see if I was on the right track, I went looking in the rest of the New Testament for the word Paul uses in 4:6, “anxious.” Do you know what? It shows up around 20 times, exclusively in the writings of Jesus and Paul, and almost exclusively as negative, and prohibited by command.
And as I read all of those texts, what I saw was a kind of anxiety and worry that smothers out belief in God: who he is, what he is up to, what he thinks of us and how he feels about us. A kind of sorrow that steals the strength of today and tomorrow. I kind of stressedoutness that refuses to believe God could possibly do anything about our situation.
This kind of anxiety is, actually, also understandable.
Because we're human.
We're frail, and weak, and we don't always have the frame or constitution to handle what comes our way.
And God understands that (Psalm 103:14; 139:15).
Because despite what you may have heard in church, sometimes God does give and/or allow more than we can handle.
And what Jesus and Paul want us to know is that it's OK to feel the weight of that and worry and grieve it, to a point. But if we let that go too far, and we despair, and the flame of our faith flickers and seems like it may go out, we may venture into a kind of anxiety that is sinful, and damaging. And because Paul and Jesus love people in situations like that, they want to protect them. And help them. So they get real, but they do so compassionately. And so, when you read these texts by these men, I think you need to imagine that they have lived with and listened to people laid low by life.
And consider this—pause now, and really think about this—based on what you know of them from the Bible….What kind of tone do you think they are going to use, what kind of compassion do you think that they are going to exude, when they say, "Do not be anxious about anything"?
For my part, I don’t imagine a tone that is harsh, impatient, or accusatory.
It’s a command, yes, and it's like the words are arms that are wrapped around you, lifting you in love, showing the possibility that you can actually be free from debilitating worry, even if the circumstances don't change.
It's the kind of speech that is infused with HOPE.
Ok, so, with those rough thoughts in tow, let’s go all the way back to where we started, and reimagine the exchange I shared there:
Another human: sharing something really difficult that is causing them anxiety, worry, stress, and deep sorrow.
You: Oh, dear friend. Do not be anxious about this. Ok, yeah, I know that sounds ridiculous. But let's go to God together and talk with him. Let's find just a couple of things that we can be thankful for and tell him about that, reminding ourselves that he is good, and so he does good. And then let's lay this thing—this thing causing you worry—let’s lay it down at his feet, and ask him to do something about it. Let's tell him that he's given you more than you can handle, and unless he does something about that, you are going to buckle under the weight of it. Let's remind him that he knows that kind of frailty exists in you, because he's the one who made you in the first place, so he's pretty familiar with the design. And then let's call him on his promise that if we act like this—if we fight the fight of faith, by his grace, with the Spirit's help, so that we don't slide into a kind of worry that smothers out belief—well then, let's call him on his promise to give us his peace. Peace, even if the circumstances don't change (even though we'll ask him to change them too). Let's ask for the kind of peace that goes beyond any kind of peace that makes sense, because he's guarding our hearts and minds in Jesus. Jesus, who himself called out to God when he was in excruciating agony and under a beyond-our-understanding burden; and God heard him, and God answered him, and God delivered him. Let's do all that. My dear friend, please know that God is with you, and he still loves you. And please know that I am with you, and I love you too, and I'm not going anywhere. And I won't let you fall."
Another human: __________________
How do you think they would respond? What would you fill in that blank up there?
And how many times would you keep showing up, keep speaking truth, keep loving them in all their weakness, even if they didn't respond with hope, but instead, responded with worry, anger, fear, confusion, and pain? How badly would you want someone to keep trying to get through to you to help you if it were you who was the one in danger of falling?
I'm sure you probably have things you'd like to say in response to my musings on anxiety and worry, maybe disagree with me, maybe ask some questions of me. I sure wish we could sit over a good cup of coffee and have a conversation about all this, because it's that important.
Heck, drop me a line in the comments...maybe we can.
