The older I get, and the longer I walk this path with Jesus, the more I discover how much life is filled with Gospel tensions. Dane Ortlund recently gave expression to this, over at the Gospel Coalition:
I am a sinner. I sin. Not just in the past but in the present.
But in Christ I'm not a sinner but cleansed, whole. And as I step out into my day in soul-calm because of that free gift of cleansing, I find that actually, strangely, startlingly---I begin to live out practically what I already am positionally. I delight to love others. It takes effort and requires the sobering of suffering. But love cannot help but be kindled by gospel rest.
How can you possibly stiff-arm this? Repent of your small thoughts of God's love, your resistance to swallowing Christ's atoning work whole. Repent and let him love you.